Diary

I am not lower than all men – I feel
Too keenly. Yet my place is not above,
Though I have this – unalterable Love
In every fibre. I am crucified
Apart on a lone burning crag of steel,
Tortured, cast out; and yet, I Shall Abide.

Peter Vaughn

Peter Vaughn

~ Diary Entries ~

Note: I am trying to locate “The Ritual Magic Manual” by David Griffin. Please contact me if you have access to this book.

Peter Vaughn

14 November 2009

Some men aren’t looking for anything logical.
They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.

.

Friday  13 November 2009

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

.

10 November 2009

3.10 pm

Just spoke with an old friend of mine. We might get together if she has some time off. She is currently training for a K2 expedition. Been there, done that. Being the sweetheart that I am, I offered to loan out my Sherpa.

7 November 2009

8.00 am

I’ve already ranted about how the silly “white lighters” in Salem have commercialized their sacred holiday, Samhain, as much as the Christians have commercialized Christmas. One of my older posts (and video), “Samhain is Sacred (Ca-Ching)” sums up my views.

As a young lady of maybe 17 years of age told me yesterday, “Salem has ruined Halloween”. I did get my tea though. The rest was just a sad sideshow.

5 November 2009

10.20 pm

Going to bed now, finally. Thinking too much, as usual. Not that I sleep much. But some is required. Tarot card plucked before bed: 4 (Chesed) of Disks (Assiah) + Sol in Capricorn = POWER. No kidding. The Universe below the Abyss. Right in my back pocket. Along with too many crap memories.

Taking Dr. Rudd to bed.

1.00 pm

A cold November day. Tomorrow heading to the tea shop. Looking for Scottish Breakfast Tea; I’m all out.

Still searching for Truth. You know, the big, in your face TRUTH of it all.

While shopping tomorrow, I might climb that hill to find (and curse) that damned hole that made me break my leg last year. I also consulted the I Ching about a situation that’s been bugging me. The answer has been in my face all along. Naturally.

I’m still so proud of Naufragio; more Adept than any Adept I’ve known. Everything has Qabalistic correspondences. And she rarely fails to point them out. Amazing.

23 October 2009

I went to the Crossroads, Mama
Went down with Naufragio.
I went to the Crossroads, Mama
And there I sold my soul.

Peter Vaughn

17 October 2009

I consulted the I Ching last night. I also froze last night. Winter has arrived before October has departed. Saw the first flakes of snow yesterday morning. I suppose it will get worse before it gets better. Why can’t Autumn last for, say, 9 months? After breakfast this morning I might go hiking in a local graveyard and nearby woods. There’s a “paperweight” that I’ve been meaning to get.

9 October 2009

I wasn’t built for the 21st century. Nothing is remotely familiar to me “out there”. The more I see of it, the less I want to be near it.

7 October 2009

It’s late at night and I’ve been playing chess. I think I’ve discovered a new line in the Mortimer Trap in the Ruy Lopez. Boring, perhaps, to the non-player. But still exciting for me.

I’ll settle in for the night.

5 October 2009

My utter contempt for the masses of asses, and for one or two persons in particular, have only confirmed my long standing position that the profane should be shunned as the pestilent dogs that they are. I withdraw peaceably but resolutely.

27 September 2009

Those who don’t get it REALLY don’t get it. How many would that be? Literally 100% of the profane. And easily 90% of those who profess to know.

22 September 2009

8.55 pm

I’m totally psyched for Naufragio. She just received the Pamela Colman Smith Centennial Deck. I got mine last week. The set is beautiful with postcards, a book of Pam’s other artwork, Waite’s Pictorial Key to the Tarot (essential in my opinion) and more. And the deck itself is perfection. The images are from what are known as the “Pamela A” drawings, as opposed to Pam B, C, D and E. No kidding, there are that many variations. I also own a Pam B that I’ve had for years & years. Naufragio has uploaded some great pictures on her blog, so go have a look here.

Beautiful, classy and classic.

11.11 am

So what would you do if everything you thought was the Truth really isn’t. And everything you thought was a lie is really the Truth. What then?

8 September 2009

10.17 am

In the end we all become mystics.

6 July 2009

Finished painting the four Archangel stations for our Temple. The paintings of the Archangels are amazing and really help with the visualization during the LBRP and also Goetic workings.

4 July 2009

Happy 4th to those who believe in such things. It’s a warm summer’s day and I am headed (right this very minute) to where the surf runs free. Having gotten the thumbs up from the surf report, I believe I’m off. I might even do the Maine lobster thing if time allows.

30 June 2009

I am re-reading The Cloud Upon the Sanctuary by German Roman Catholic mystic and Theosophist Karl von Eckhartshausen. I’ve read it twice before. In fact, it was one of the first books that I did read when I began to seriously study the Occult.

16 June 2009

16 April 2009

Greatness demands focus. Greatness demands change & re-invention. Occasionally greatness has demanded horror. But above all, greatness demands courage.

Do you want a peaceful life? Then you had better resign yourself to blending in with the masses of asses. Being different in our society won’t bring you peace. Witness the countless Pagan YouTube channels being targeted by xtian fundamentalist asswipes who have nothing but hate in their hearts. Some have written to me and I promptly told them what to do with their bibles.

I wonder how free we really are when we can’t even worship deity the way we choose. And no matter how you worship, or whom, or even if you don’t, they tell us that we have that right. After all, it’s in the Constitution. It’s also absolute 100 proof bullshit. Oh sure, it’s your right. Right up until you try to exercise it. Then it flies in the face of the norm. And after all, being bland, and normal and vanilla is what it’s all about in America, isn’t it?

As long as you live in the fucking ‘burbs, and as long as you have 3.4 children with two cars in the garage, and as long as you’re Christian, then you’ll do. You can be yourself. Just be sure to do it behind closed doors. I think it’s time for a big change.

I’m taking off. Re-invention takes solitude. Peace.

4 April 2009

Naufragio is hard at work preparing her tinctures. Oh I am so proud of her! Her work is amazing. So nice having a Witch as a best friend. Definitely.

Oh, my test tubes arrived yesterday. Mhahahahaaa! Better living through chemistry. Wasn’t that the slogan?

2 April 2009 e.v.

Hard at work preparing the Talismans. Also, does anyone have $100,000 to loan me so I can disappear for 18 months to perform the Abramelin properly? Yes? Hello? HELLO?

24 March 2009

I’m leaving soon for my Magickal Retirement in the mountains. I might bring my laptop, I might not.

I’ve just deleted TWO email accounts because of STUPID people who are totally clueless regarding MY privacy. Read this immediately. If you do it again, I suggest you duck.

23 March 2009

This is about as personal as I’ll ever get here. Someone I love very much is moving to a new home, far far away (over 1000 miles). It’s with great sadness that I watch her leave. Let her be well, and safe, and loved.

Also, I deleted yesterday’s entry: Magicians don’t whine, they act.

20 March 2009

You may not know this, but as a young man I studied the Art of Illusion. It was a great hobby of mine for many years. I had lots of books (I still do) on illusion, sleight of hand, etc. Strangely enough, I became another type of Magician. But I still enjoy misdirection. I am also quite good at sussing out a person’s true intentions. You study your game – while I study you.

Do you know what illusion Magicians are most famous for?a

17 March 2009

14 March 2009

To My Friends: I know I’m difficult to find lately, and I suspect it will get worse. I have many things that I need to do, and they can only be done in solitude. As my entry directly below states, the Inner Journey is my obsession. I almost removed this blog, but a friend told me that although I may not think so, others find my words interesting. But I did delete my YouTube channel today.

I’ve decided that the Great Work doesn’t require an audience.

5 March 2009

The Inner Journey continues. There is much Magick and experimentation taking place here in my home and also at my Temple. I’m in search of something elusive.

So, if I’m not around as often, you’ll know why. I’ll only speak when I have something relevant to say. This says it all, “The Sphinx spoke only once, and the Sphinx said, ‘A grain of sand is a desert, and a desert is a grain of sand; and now let us all be Silent again.”’

Can anyone guess what the liquid in the vial is? Hint: it burns when applied to the skin. I also made it myself. Someone emailed me, and he said it was liquid LSD, since I am reading the Hofmann book. Interesting, but no. I do have the formulas, but no lab.

2 March 2009

Care Frater,

93

And so I am forced into a corner. Apparently my ability to shut out the profane is weak. Or else I secretly long to go for the throat. Those deserving few will hear the deafening roar of the Beast. Enough is enough.

AH! In like a lion, as they say. No matter. I’ll leave you to read these lines and ponder: Even darkness can be consumed by something far worse…

93 93/93

25 February 2009

I was talking with Owsley (Bear) last night and again this morning about diet. You remember him, don’t you? Quite a brilliant guy. He follows a totally carnivorous diet.  It seems a more extreme version of Atkins. I don’t know how well I’d do on this. Here are his rules. Look for “diet & exercise”.

Did you feel like Jesus?
Did you realize
that you were a champion in their eyes?

Could you live forever?
Could you see the day?
Could you feel your whole world fall apart and fade away?

Careful what you carry
cause the man is wise.
You are still an outlaw in their eyes.

Lysergic Acid hits the spot. Forty billion neurons, that’s a lot.

23 February 2009 e.v

Fannee Doolee loves killing, but hates murder.

19 February 2009

12.30 p.m.

In the Art of War, Sun Tzu states that intimidation is the only acceptable initial impression one can give his opponent.
In the wars that I choose to fight, I intimidate through an initial precise physical and sartorial impression that, stated simply says, “The first move is mine.”

I can be invisible when I choose to be.

~ Patrick Bateman Diaries. Though it could just as well be from mine. I’m furious, and it’s going to show in some very interesting ways.

16 February 2009

Back Vile Creature, which is my latest post, says it all. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

15 February 2009

11.00 a.m.

Fighting off caffeine withdrawal headache. Very unpleasant, having difficulty concentrating too. LBRP & Resh this morning. I consulted the I Ching yet again:

Question: What is the present situation regarding X and what is the correct solution? Does associating with X present any imminent danger?

6 Chinese coins – one toss, one changing line. (Not my usual method, just experimenting.)

K’uei Hexagram. XXXVIII

Opposition. Alienation. Division.
Fire (Li) above Lake (Tui)

All’s disunion, mother of distress;
But in small matters there may be success.

Lost steeds return; bad men may yet take thy way;
Thy lord may chance to meet thee – in the byway.
Baffled and punished? Bide time’s amnesty.
Alone and disunion? Friends on highway
Joined with thy minister thy course is free.
Pigs? Ghosts? Foes? Nay! Go forward on the skyway.

My interpretation:

Two contrasting movements: Fire which burns upwards. Water, which seeps downward. The two daughters Wills are not the same, yet they live in the same house. Point of views are in opposition. Opposition, in this case, is definitely estrangement, as I know personally the parties in question.

Resolving adversity takes time. Nine at the beginning: When you see evil people, avoid mistakes. If the horse runs away, do not chase after it; it will return of its own accord (if meant to). But be ever cautious when evil is present. Friends may be of use (Alone and disunion? Friends on highway). There shouldn’t be any great difficulty in settling this once and for all. No enemies, but scandal.

14 February 2009 e.v.

Quiet evening. I’ve had enough “distractions” thank you very much. And I’m totally digging my latest post, “Thus Far”. I wish I could take my own advice.

13 February 2009 e.v.

I’m gaining a lot of insight with my latest workings and my use of the I Ching. I’ve also been reading “The Way of the Superior Man”, which is an excellent book.

Taking a close look at ones own shortcomings is difficult, but necessary. I have far too many. And one has been my association with people who have posed as “friends” or “lovers” but who were, in actual fact, neither. Not in any real sense. I’ve had people in my life who didn’t deserve me. As I mentioned in a recent video, nothing good can come from any association with people like that.

The I Ching is a trusted friend and adviser. To not follow the advice given would be a great insult and mistake.

To be superior, one must disassociate from the inferior. Lesson learned.

12:2:1 (1 A.L.) 12 February 2009 e.v.

Not many people know that I’m a Mason. And I’m so excited about our next meeting. We have some visiting members of the Illuminati coming to discuss world finance and the New World Order. I cannot wait! Also, we each get a brand new Vette, just for attending the meeting and dinner. Again, I have to say it. It’s good to be me.

11:2:1 (1 A.L.) 11 February 2009 e.v.

“The faults of a superior person are like the sun and moon. They have their faults, and everyone sees them; they change and everyone looks up to them.”

The superior man. This ideal is all over the place in the I Ching. In fact, my copy has 8 pages dedicated to what the Superior Man is and what he should be. I do know that to be superior, I must distance myself from anything inferior. A most noble goal. Difficult (the majority of people being what they are), but not impossible. I recall my entry on Π. A singular focus.

10:2:1 (1 A.L.) 10 February 2009 e.v.

Not only do I have a gig at Bambi’s Back Door Bimbo Boom Boom Room, I was also contacted by some talent scouts. They apparently saw my latest video and would like me to play a serial killer. But of course. Talk about being typecast. It’s good to be me.

And I also thought I’d share a picture of me with my bass. It’s a McCartney replica. Exact in every detail. I had it modified to his original specs when I ordered it. And since I’m also a lefty, it’s perfect. I’ve a new keyboard here too. Sweet music.

4:2:1 (1 A.L.) 4 February 2009 e.v.

And a voice cries: Cursed be he that shall uncover the nakedness of the Most High, for he is drunken upon the wine that is the blood of the adepts. And BABALON hath lulled him to sleep upon her breast…

3:2:1 (1 A.L.) 3 February 2009 e.v.

“O coffee!  By the mighty Name of Power do I invoke thee,
consecrating thee to the Service of the Magic of Light.”

Thank you to my friend Alannah, who is so far away in Scotland, for this quote. Aleister understood the power of the Goddess Caffeina.

10.00 a.m.

Does a public declaration of your faults somehow force you to change? I hope so, because I’m clearly one who suffers from a lack of self discipline.  It’s not a case of just forcing myself to do what I don’t want to do, I need to find a way to enjoy the process. Not that I’m a lazy bastard; but a lack of discipline is hurting me. And there’s nothing more unbecoming.

2:2:1 (1 A.L.) 2 February 2009 e.v.

Truth is an Illusion.
The Illusion is a Lie.
I perpetuate the Lie.

31:1:1 (1 A.L.) 31 January 2009 e.v.

I had a fun night last night with Naufragio. We were researching Qabalistic correspondences for Binah; Godnames, mundane chakras, Archangels… And the best part was that we made actual progress. Progress!

30:1:1 (1 A.L.) 30 January 2009 e.v.

I’m not expressing my thoughts on this clearly yet. I’m aware of something else, yet I cannot express it. Let me reach, let me be crazy for a day -  it’s how we discover. I thought of this while watching a film; how original a thought it is I don’t know or care.

r = abθ

In a recent video, I mentioned the movie Pi, and how the main character had such focus, such determination to succeed. I also mentioned that math is everywhere in Nature. Witness: This is a Nautilus shell cut in half. The chambers are clearly visible and arranged in a logarithmic spiral. Just like hurricanes. Just like our own Milky Way Galaxy. Just like our fingerprints. Just like our DNA. Math.

Question: How can math be used in Magick? It’s everywhere in Nature. Magick is a natural force, therefore math is inherently built into the Magickal process. But how, other than guessing probability and outcome? More than Sacred Geometry. More than the link between Qabalah, math & Magick. Maybe I’m not clear on this yet myself. There is something that we are missing. And there is (I believe) a way to physically graph, plot and put down on paper that something.

Greater minds than my own have probably pondered this. I put this out only to share what’s been on mine.

7.00 a.m.

My morning I Ching Reading.

…He must take care to remain upright and steadfast, so that he sojourns only in the proper places, associating only with good people…

The wanderer comes to an inn.
The wanderer’s inn burns down.
The wanderer rests in a shelter. He obtains his property and an ax.
He shoots a pheasant. It drops with the first arrow.

A wanderer should not demean himself or busy himself with inferior things he meets with along the way. The humbler and more defenseless his outward position, the more should he preserve his inner dignity. For a stranger is mistaken if he hopes to find a friendly reception through lending himself to jokes and buffoonery. The result will be only contempt and insulting treatment.

Cave quid dicis, quando, et cui

28:1:1 (1 A.L.) 28 January 2009 e.v.

9.15 p.m.

Ankle very bad. It’s really swollen and a distinctly darker colour than the other ankle. I’ll get myself to bed (second attempt).

7.30 a.m.

A superb nights sleep. Divination this morning. Offerings to the Lwa.

27:1:1 (1 A.L.) 27 January 2009 e.v.

8.45 p.m.

An amazing day. Happy and grateful. I was reading my I Ching book, and I realised that it needed to have its own silk wrapping, like the Yarrow sticks have. The reason is because the book deserves to be revered. Just as great Masters deserve your respect. Just as you should respect your things. Just as you should respect yourself. The Universe gave me a great gift today.

5.35 p.m.

My newest video on True Will, Pi & Paranoia has gotten a lot of email responses. I think it resonates with a lot of people in the Magickal community. REAL Magicians see the value in discipline & focus. The posers are content to wear their pentacles and give themselves silly names. When you see that the only question worth asking is the only thing worth chasing, you will have learned, Grasshopper.

I think I’ve learned. I’ve dropped the bag of bricks. I’ve seen what’s real and what’s bullshit. And I’ve never been more free. You should try it.

Not thinking of good, not thinking of evil – tell me, what was your original face before your mother and father were born?

4.00 p.m.

“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot.”
~ D.H. Lawrence

10.30 a.m.

Pity not the fallen! I never knew them. I am not for them.

8.30 a.m.

ORDO AB CHAO

I am at peace with myself with what wisdom brings. Awoke early, Resh, meditation, mantra (9 cycles).

Planning a trip. I am as the Sun at noon. There is no error.

26:1:1 (1 A.L.) 26 January 2009 e.v.

9:30 p.m.

LBRP. Feeling very relaxed. Preparing for an early night. I might read some; but this feeling of sleepiness is going to eventually win. Good, let it. A good night. And a better tomorrow.

Jane! Chicks from the sixties. Sigh.

I went shopping today and I bought a beautiful Egyptian statue. Preparing for a working.

25:1:1 (1 A.L.) 25 January 2009 e.v.

8:30 p.m.

“If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.”

8:00 p.m.

A great day. Belated birthday dinner with Samantha. Her cake exploded when I baked it but it still tasted just fine.

Spent some time with the Maha Mantra. I once chanted it for 5 straight hours. “Whoever chants this mantra, even neglectfully, will attain the supreme goal of life.” ~ Agni Purana

The Bhagavad-Gita is one of my all time favourite books. I have 4 different translations. It never fails to raise my spirits.

8:30 a.m.

Awoke refreshed. Liber Resh & Goddess Caffeina. Magickal Memory rears its wondrous head again, in the form of dreams last night.

“Having entered in Silence, let me abide in Silence.”

“Plant firm thy feet; repose be now thy law.
Thy legs – ’twere ill to advance them or withdraw.
If loins move, the heart’s liable to riot.
Keep still thy body’s fidgets, Johnny raw,
and, for the love of heaven hold thy jaw!
Fortune attends who persevere in quiet.”

24:1:1 (1 A.L.) 24 January 2009 e.v.

10:00 p.m.

There is no part of me that is not of the Gods.

I worked the I Ching tonight. My true & trusted friend and adviser. I trust it with my life, literally. Midnight adoration & blessed sleep.

7:00 p.m.

I want to go north. Here. Mt. Adams. Have you been? Have you seen meteor showers from the mountains? Camp just below treeline and watch. And learn. You can learn so much about life & Magick from just one night in the mountains.

Obsession. Devotional thinking. Pursuing my True Will. I have put blinders on. Willingly. I told Naufragio all about the search. No, not the search. THE search. A very different animal. I lock myself away from the things of man.

23:1:1 (1 A.L.) 23 January 2009 e.v.

2:30 p.m.

Went to the bookstore and got 2 more books on the I Ching. I prefer and mainly use the Wilhelm translation, but I thought I’d add to my library. I’m also writing my own I Ching; original poems based on the hexagrams for my own personal use. I know it’s been done. But not by me. Seriously, it’s helping me to better understand this venerable work. And it’s also giving me a stronger connection to it by making it mine.

Samantha sends me a text and the instant it arrives all the glass shatters on my cell phone. No joke.

8:45 a.m.

Woke refreshed. Liber Resh. Hail unto Ra. Dreamt of the forest, dirtbikes and of a cat; perhaps a mountain lion or cougar of some sort. The cat was incredibly powerful as it broke a baseball bat in half with its jaws while sitting right next to me. I remember being in a house with a set of stairs that curved halfway down, and wondering if the cat would find me in the upstairs bedroom.

Babalon. The Scarlet Woman, The Great Mother,  the Mother of Abominations. Gateway to the City of Pyramids.

“So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns. And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication: And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH. And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration.”

I Invoke Babalon and again I wait.

22:1:1 (1 A.L.) 22 January 2009 e.v.

1916 Newfound Lake,  New Hampshire. Aleister Crowley crucifies a frog as a symbolic gesture to end the era of christianity. More to the point, it was to exorcise christianity from himself; a gesture of sacrilege. You could do the same thing: burn the bible, flip the bird at the cross in church, etc. It’s to find the worst possible offense you can against the symbolism of the God figure you wish to destroy in your mind. If you are trying to release the hold that christianity (or any other “anity” or “ism”) has on you, a frog might do the trick. I cannot kill froggies, however, so I had found another method long ago.

5:00 p.m.

Thelemic concepts are taking hold in the strongest ways. Ideas like True Will and my HGA are in my mind constantly. I am so completely convinced that there is something huge for me to do. It’s INCHES away from me, I just can’t see it. It’s a feeling I’ve had my entire life. Some big plan is supposed to be put into action, and I’m in the center of it.

8:00 a.m.

Awoke with great pain in my foot. Unsettled night last night; a lot of strange dreams. I dreamt (again) of Boleskine, particularly about tunnels that run under the house. Something I’m not really aware of. I also dreamt of a coal cart or some type of cart with wheels (on a track?). I don’t know. I wrote it all down and sometimes I see patterns. Sometimes I think I’ve had too much Absinthe. Liber Resh to the Morning Star.

I’m noticing a strange phenomenon concerning my Black Altar. It would seem (and it’s been tested several times) that certain incenses are attracted to it, whereby the smoke is drawn in and surrounds various objects on it. At other times, the altar completely pushes the smoke away. This is the most interesting of the two; the smoke actually forms a wall right up to the beginning of the altar and absolutely cannot go any closer. It’s a strange sight. Using a scientific method, I will note which incenses are drawn and which are repelled.

20:1:1 (1 A.L.) 20 January 2009 e.v.

I am forming a sort of Hellfire Club. Inspired by the Bacchanalia of old,  a celebration of unbridled debauchery. Applications now being accepted. Please include photo.

18:1:1 (1 A.L.) 18 January 2009 e.v.

I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable. I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world.

17:1:1 (1 A.L.) 17 January 2009 e.v.

8:00 p.m.

I wrote a song tonight on the piano. Words and music partially incomplete, but it’s damn good. Naufragio walked by and offered a word or two. I rejected them straightaway because she wants a piece of the publishing. I haven’t really written in a while, but this is good. This is definitely good.

I also started polishing up a tune I wrote a long, long time ago; a saloon song I wrote for some crooner who never actually recorded it. It needs to be recorded. Maybe I should do it.  ♫

16:1:1 (1 A.L.) 16 January 2009 e.v.

9:30 a.m.

The Watcher cares not what It watches.

15:1:1 (1 A.L.) 15 January 2009 e.v.

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
~ Epicurus

14:1:1 (1 A.L.) 14 January 2009 e.v.

YouTube is getting out of hand. I’ve never seen such stupidity. Let’s hope that it doesn’t become another Myspace; which is basically a communal trailer for the inbred.

10:1:1 (1 A.L.) 10 January 2009 e.v.

3:33 p.m.

“Every extraordinary person has a particular mission which he is called upon to fulfill. When he has accomplished it, he is no longer needed on Earth in the same form, and Providence uses him for something else… Mozart dies at thirty-six. Raphael at practically the same age. Byron was only a little older. But each of them had accomplished his mission perfectly, and it was time for them to go so that others might still have something left to do in a world created to last a long while.”

~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

3:00 p.m.

“The theater is closed and there is no place left to go…”

9:1:1 (1 A.L.) 9 January 2009 e.v.

7:00 a.m.

Today I celebrate myself. Today I recognise futility and bury it between the rows.

I live as the Beasts of the Field.

8:1:1 (1 A.L.) 8 January 2009 e.v.

6:30 a.m.

Morning Resh. I got (as per usual) little sleep last night. If I could find a way to eliminate sleep, I would.

The house has become overly active again. It was quiet for a time, but no longer. The best way to describe it is to say that the house is doing things.

7:1:1 (1 A.L.) 7 January 2009 e.v.

10:30 a.m.

St. Winebald Day. A day of sacrifices.

In the words of Jim Morrison, “I sacrifice my co-k on the altar of silence.”

6:1:1 (1 A.L.) 6 January 2009 e.v.

5:00 p.m.

Spent an hour trying to channel nervous energy & anxiety into a usable force. Experimented with my attacking servitor. Fed him my nervousness. Sent him on a mission. Waiting patiently to see if he comes home tonight.

I’ve been sleeping, more out of habit than anything else, in the Hanged Man position. It began innocently enough, as it helped ease the pain of my foot.

After careful consideration and much speculation, I’ve realised that I’m soul-sick. The Darkness is like a warm blanket. I invoke NOX.

8:00 a.m.

Lisa brought over some delicious baked goodies yesterday.  She wrote a most interesting blog today on religion and judgemental people. I also wrote (and deleted) a rant about people who never have time for real friends, yet have time to update their Myspace page 15 times a day, just so their “pretend” online friends know what their mood is. Strange.

5:1:1 (1 A.L.) 5 January 2009 e.v.

8:30 p.m.

Midnight ritual tonight.

1:00 p.m.

I re-designed my Black Altar today. I’ve included a beautiful statue of Set. It looks fantastic.

1:1:1 (1 A.L.) 1 January 2009 e.v.

6:00 p.m.

Could they be any MORE predictable?  If it wasn’t so fucking sad it would be hysterical. On second thought, it is hysterical. The Wall of Shame gets another.

Today all accounts get settled. Play time is over. ∞

At home
Drawing pictures
Of mountain tops
With him on top
Lemon yellow sun
Arms raised in a V
And the dead lay in pools of maroon below…

… But we unleashed a lion…

29 December 2008 e.v.

7:00 p.m.

I spent the day in northern Vermont. The drive gave me lots of time to think. It’s been a long December.

25 December 2008 e.v.

6:00 p.m.

I cooked myself a nice meal: Steak au poivre. I also made a really good Port wine/cream reduction sauce with it. And a nice German Hacker~Pschorr Weisse (unfiltered wheat beer) to wash it down. Perfect.

3:00 p.m.

Guess what? It’s SO exciting! I’m no longer making excuses for people who don’t deserve my attention. Oh WOW, this is such a breakthrough. Lame-ass excuses go right in the toilet where they belong. Oh Joy, Oh Rapture.

Consider this your memo.

11:00 a.m.

Good morning. I posted the public servitor like I said I would. Just had an awesome breakfast made by Naufragio: Eggs Benedict. Below is a picture. And thank you to my sweet friend Lisa who offered me cookies and Swedish rye bread.

24 December 2008 e.v.

9:00 a.m.

Really tired and sore; I worked a 12 hour day yesterday and the foot is killing me. I think the next few days will be awesome. I’m writing again and also I’m recording videos (serious ones this time).

12:30 p.m.

Writing songs.

10:00 a.m.

Naufragio & I were discussing the death of music. Remember music? Remember melody? Remember SONGS? Today it’s mostly beat box be-bob bullshit. Mindless beats, no melody, no songs. I’m bringing music back.

And my fusion of Country & Rap, called CRap, is still on.

9:00 a.m.

Blessed Yule. I saw my next door neighbour cleaning the snow off his Jeep. He had 2 tours in Iraq, so I thanked him for his service. These young men & women put themselves in harm’s way – for us all.

“War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing he cares about more than his personal safety; is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. ”
- John Stuart Mill, English philosopher

17 December 2008 e.v.

6:30 a.m.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “If you throw enough mud at the wall, some of it will stick” ?

I believe I’ve proven it to be false. I give up. Because I can

15 December 2008 e.v.

9:45 a.m.

I’m planning some more work with Belial and I’m doing some research. I’m particularly interested in Crowley’s work with him in 1924, as I’ve mentioned elsewhere. If anyone has information on his Belial operations, or has access to “The Brazen Head”, please write me.

I’ve evoked Belial in the past, some experiences were good, some not so good. Read about one such evocation here.

14 December 2008 e.v.

9:00 a.m.

I was working on some chess recently. As those who know me know, I’m a huge Bobby Fischer fan. Not the man, but the chess player. I’ve studied most of his games and still marvel at his genius. I have been getting back into online tourneys and OTB as well. I missed the NH Open but I would have entered.

Last night, by candlelight, I worked on the Poisoned Pawn Variation of the Sicilian Najdorf. My friend, she calls me “eccentric”. As if that were a bad thing.

8:00 a.m.

New England gets hit with an ice storm and I’m 42 hours with out electricity and heat. Not fun at all. I’ve gained a new respect for people who are homeless and who are without the things I take for granted. In an attempt to stay warm I had 7 candles burning in my bedroom in the hope that the meager flames would help. They actually did. But when it’s below freezing outside its close to that inside.

12 December 2008 e.v.

Midnight

Resh.

10 December 2008 e.v.

Nearly Midnight

Midnight adoration. Hail Kheph-Ra. Midnight has arrived. Slumber town awaits – I’m wiped.

2:00 p.m.

So it’s come to this. I got some wonderful news last night upon arriving home. Details are omitted but my December Rant post hints at the wonder of it all. Yes folks, I’m pissed. Surprise surprise.

Also, I’m recording videos for my YouTube channel. The one you visit regularly. Right?

5 December 2008 e.v.

I’ve discovered a new method for my Magickal workings, and I’m insanely excited about it. Tonight, or tomorrow night, I will experiment. It’s a brand new day.

22 November 2008 e.v.

Just a brief observation on visiting Salem, MA. I go there all the time but yesterday we avoided all the silly “witch shops” that sell the same old shit, and, instead, concentrated on the “darker” aspects of Salem. Calling that place the “Witch City” seems dumb when you realise that an entire cottage industry has been built up over a MYTH. There were NO Witches in Salem at the time of the hangings. None. One woman, who started the whole affair, was actually more into Voodoo. The whole hysteria was sad and unfortunate, possibly caused by ergot poisoning. Ergot, you may remember, was the source from which LSD was first derived.

But today, of course, there are witches in Salem. My complaint here is over them. The ones that own shops and are among the rudest people I’ve had the displeasure to meet. At least to those of us who wear an inverted pentacle. They look at me with such disdain, which is really odd behaviour considering the fact that they claim to not believe in the devil or anything in the Bible. Yet at the same time, those of the Left Hand Path were welcoming, generous and sincere. The ones who are considered the “bad guys”, the enemy, if you will, were far friendlier, FAR more knowledgeable in their craft, and frankly, superior human beings.

A friend of mine is calling out the white lighters for what many of them are. And I can’t disagree with him. They have ruined the city.

11 November 2008 e.v.

What’s this? Can it be true? Is Naufragio leaning left??
Got another one for Old Nick…

20 October 2008 e.v.

Salvation through (fill in the blank). Salvation through this, salvation through that… Salvation Saves. Jesus Saves. Allah Saves. Vishnu Saves. Saved? From what?

We are already Gods & Goddesses. We have NO need of Salvation.

10:00 a.m.

Naufragio & I were watching a TV show about storm chasers and tornadoes. And the tornado, an F5, came roaring into town. And destroyed nearly everything. BUT! It missed a school where there were some small children. The area where the tornado hit was the Bible Belt. And, OF COURSE, predictably, the Jesus folk exclaimed that it was a MIRACLE that this particular school was spared. Naturally they ignored the fact that it was this same God that decided not to spare the life of 209 other people who did indeed die in the same tornado. And many were children. Where exactly was the miracle again? Selective miracles I guess.

19 October 2008 e.v.

“Oscar Wilde said something to the effect that if there were not a devil, we’d very likely invent him. He serves many a purpose, and this grim-visaged character here is proof of that rather bitter pudding in a story that tells what happens when evil collides with evil. The painting is called The Devil Is Not Mocked.”

I have had some incredibly interesting evenings working with some “archetypes”. Naufragio knows all about my recent experiments. I can honestly say that NOTHING is ever what it seems or first appears to be. The next time I meet Old Nick at the Crossroads, I might hang around for a bit. I might even buy him a drink.

16 October 2008 e.v.

9:30 p.m.

Cree Indian motif: an oar with a panther stalking a rabbit on one side, and on the other, the rabbit sitting peacefully, smoking a pipe, unafraid.

Q: And why is the rabbit unafraid?

A: Because he’s smarter than the panther.

Noon:

Martian Sunrise. I’m working with the Darker (whatever that means) forces lately. Here are awesome photographs of a sunrise – from MARS, taken by the Phoenix unmanned ship.

12 October 2008 e.v.

Dedicated to the Magick that is music, and to the Magickal Jimmy Page (who should have sold me his house). A Magickal house on an even more Magickal shore.

7 October 2008 e.v.

This is why it’s sometimes difficult to blog regularly. I’m up to quite a lot, much of it no good. But it’s a secret. Shhhhhhh… So what can I possibly say?

Clophill Church

I will say that I went to the cemetery and got a few materials that I’ll be using for my ritual. A ritual inspired by some events at Clophill Church a long, long time ago. I also went to the local farm and purchased a rooster that I’ll be needing. (wink)

I have my Abramelin Oil, my dug up bones, my rooster, a sharp Athame and I’ll be calling upon Abaddon in the Triangle. What could possibly go wrong?

3 October 2008 e.v.

5:30 p.m.

We had a 4 hour hike through the forest today. Such a perfect October day! We gathered many goodies to bring home too. How could I ever live far from the forest! It’s probably the only place where I feel like I’m home.

1 October 2008 e.v.

10.30 a.m.

Naufragio & I are headed up to the White Mountains this weekend because I need to pick up a few Magickal items before Samhain that cannot be bought, but can easily be found along the Kancamagus Highway. Specifically about halfway down. It’s a very remote area.

Have you ever been to my home? Then you’ll know where I’m going, and why. This second picture gives a pretty good hint:

9:30 a.m.

It’s here! Glorious October is here! My favourite month.

“Listen! the wind is rising,
and the air is wild with leaves,
We have had our summer evenings,
now for October eves!”
- Humbert Wolfe

“I saw old Autumn in the misty morn
Stand, shadowless like Silence, listening
To Silence.”
-  Thomas Hood

30 September 2008 e.v.

7:45 a.m.

You know I’ve always gone by the name 777 right? From way back. Well, the stock market dropped by 777 points yesterday, in response to the bailout vote in Congress, its largest numerical drop in history. And one of the pieces of crap with whom I have declared war on just happens to work in the financial world (small time). Interesting “coincidence”. And no, I’m not arrogant enough to believe I crashed the markets. Really.

28 September 2008 e.v.

8:30 a.m.

Another perfect rainy day! I haven’t blogged much in my Magick Journal page, simply because the Magick I have been working need not be advertised. Again, it comes down to what I had blogged about before about privacy. My ritual work as of late has been infused with new energy & Spirit; partly because of my new Sword, and mostly because the formal Declaration of War I posted reminds me exactly who & what I am, and shows me exactly what needs to be done.

26 September 2008 e.v.

5:00 p.m.

Naufragio & I hiked deep into our local forest (over 1000 acres) and we took lots of pictures. You must understand that I grew up in this forest. Half the trails that people hike on now were created by me and my friends when we were about 13 years old. We used to play hide and seek in here with our dirt bikes late at night. Imagine trying to find someone in these 1000 acres late at night! Such a childhood. What’s even cooler is that my son also rode his dirt bike here when he was a kid.

It was pouring rain, so the pics are a bit soggy. I must live near the forest. It’s who I am. I have also done many rituals here, especially behind the pond and also – well, never mind.

8:30 a.m.

It’s 55 degrees outside and raining. Perfect weather! My favourite kind of day.

25 September 2008 e.v.

8:30 a.m.

I know a third: in the thick of battle,
If my need be great enough,
It will blunt the edges of enemy swords,
Their weapons will make no wounds.

Hail to the speaker,
Hail to the knower,
Joy to him who has understood,
Delight to those who have listened.

24 September 2008 e.v.

7:30 p.m.

Witness my Rite:

For the Gods by Odin, for the Elves by Dain,
By Dvalin, too, for the Dwarves,
By Asvid for the hateful Giants,
And some I carved myself:
Thund, before man was made, scratched them,
Who rose first, fell thereafter.

1:00 p.m.

Isn’t it funny how the truth always comes out? Past friends, ex-lovers, family. It always shows, doesn’t it? I’m laughing (rather loudly) at some of the people I once knew, and I find it unbelievable that I saw anything of worth in them. I know a few of you have experienced the same thing recently. Let their own vileness be their undoing.

And they know exactly who they are: they couldn’t escape their own stench if they tried.

22 September 2008 e.v.

5:00 p.m.

Ritual work tonight, then I may be taking a few days off, away from the computer. Back to Nature sort of thing.

21 September 2008 e.v.

9:00 a.m.

My formal Declaration of War has been posted in my Journal.

20 September 2008 e.v.

High Noon

“In exchange for obedience, Christianity promises salvation in an afterlife; but in order to elicit obedience through this promise, Christianity must convince people that they need salvation, that there is something to be saved from. Christianity has nothing to offer a happy person living in a natural, intelligible universe. If Christianity is to gain a motivational foothold, it must declare war on earthly pleasure and happiness, and this, historically, has been its precise course of action. In the eyes of Christianity, woman (man) is sinful and helpless in the face of God, and is potential fuel for the flames of hell. Just as Christianity must destroy reason before it can introduce faith, so it must destroy happiness before it can introduce salvation.”

10:30 a.m.

A formal public Declaration is coming very soon. But for now…

Look out your window, baby, there’s a scene you’d like to catch.
The band is playing “Dixie,” a man got his hand outstretched.
Could be the Fuhrer
Could be the local priest.
You know sometimes Satan comes as a man of peace.

Well, he catch you when you’re hoping for a glimpse of the sun.
Catch you when your troubles feel like they weigh a ton.
He could be standing next to you,
The person that you’d notice least.
I hear that sometimes Satan comes as a man of peace.

He’s a great humanitarian, he’s a great philanthropist.
He knows just where to touch you, honey, and how you like to be kissed.
He’ll put both his arms around you,
You can feel the tender touch of The Beast.
You know that sometimes Satan comes as a man of peace.

8:30 a.m.

Hey Naufragio, remember this?

The Devil is in the Belfry
and he called out to us in turn.
He asked me for a favor, and I agreed
for a favor in return.

I think I will delight in the absence of Light.

19 September 2008 e.v.

7:00 p.m.

Here’s something for all the cynics out there:

Cain slew Abel, Seth knew not why
For if the children of Israel were to multiply
Why must any of the children die?
So he asked the Lord
And the Lord said:

“Man means nothing, he means less to me
than the lowliest cactus flower
or the humblest yucca tree.
He chases round this desert
cause he thinks that’s where I’ll be.
That’s why I love mankind.

I recoil in horror from the foulness of thee
from the squalor and the filth and the misery.
How we laugh up here in heaven at the prayers you offer me.
That’s why I love mankind”

“I burn down your cities–how blind you must be.
I take from you your children and you say how blessed are we.
You all must be crazy to put your faith in me.
That’s why I love mankind.
You really need me.
That’s why I love mankind.” (R. Newman)

18 September 2008 e.v.

4:30 p.m.

The Tough Questions:

Knowing what you know now about Adolf Hitler, if you had the opportunity to murder him in his crib, would you? Forget about “raising him properly” and teaching and loving and nurturing him. If that was his fate, then that was what he was destined to do. So, would you kill one to save a million?

Also, in Thelema we talk of True Will, what someone is destined to do. And how we shouldn’t interfere. If Hitler’s True Will was to be what he was, would you be wrong to try and stop him?

3:30 p.m.

I just read a little more of my new book.  It was interesting to learn of the connections between Aleister Crowley, Gerald Gardener & Adolf Hitler. I knew about some of it already. I also know that Crowley gave Churchill the “V” sign as a way to thwart the power of the Swastika.

In the chapter “The Nuremberg Rallies – An Invocation of Mars”, the author suggests that the Nuremberg Rallies were a form of Magick ritual, a perversion of the Catholic sacrament and a Pagan consecration of the weapons with which Nazi Germany would wage war. I don’t see myself dropping this subject any time soon. I have always been fascinated by people who come to power.

12:30 p.m.

During the lunch hour I did some shopping. I bought a Bob Dylan CD and I also found a very interesting book that I can’t wait to tear into: “The Nazis & The Occult – The Dark Forces Unleashed By The Third Reich”. I’ve always been fascinated by people who can hold a whole nation in their palm; whether they are good or bad makes no difference to me. The Thule Society also fascinates me, I’m sure I’ll read about it in my book. No nasty letters please; I’m not a Nazi (though I do play one on television). I just find the subject interesting.

17 September 2009 e.v.

Noon

McCain & Palin? Sure, just what the U.S. needs: another old man for President, paired with a huntin’ & fishin’ good ol’ girl redneck. I suppose when he goes to Camp David she can go hunt moose. Fucking pathetic.

There’s only one thing that will fix our hopelessly broken system: ANARCHY. Overthrow the bullshit artists in Washington who get fat while raping the middle class. It’s the only answer, and you’re a naive fool if you think otherwise. Who wants to join MY political Party: Magicians Against Everyone… (MAE)

8:30 a.m.

I am not lower than all men – I feel
Too keenly. Yet my place is not above,
Though I have this – unalterable Love
In every fibre. I am crucified
Apart on a lone burning crag of steel,
Tortured, cast out; and yet – I Shall Abide.

Aleister Crowley – Perdurabo

16 September 2008 e.v.

1:00 p.m.

Someone mentioned that she thought I was in pain. I will offer you a perverted deviant by using my own penile implant. In explaining, allow me to ejaculate further.

In understanding how my mind works, we must first internalize the flagellation of the matter by transmitting the effervescence of the Indonesian proximity in order to further segregate the crux of my venereal infection. In fact, I’d like to continue the redundance of my “quote unquote” intestinal tract.

Understanding this fully allows you to circumvent the reflections of the afrodisiatic symptom which merely serves to perpetrate the Jericho’s activation.

All this serves to be holistic. Taken from the Latin word Jalapeno.

15 September 2008 e.v.

6:30 p.m.

Rest in peace Rick. I’m playing “Us & Them” in tribute. Write something with Syd. Rock on both of you.

9:00 a.m.

Can you guess where this Magician is going?

“The deep, deep sleep which is England!”

14 September 2008 e.v.

3:30 p.m.

I am so utterly and completely at peace. I have cast out the Demons that have lingered far too long. I have cleaned out my address book, deleted old phone numbers, deleted email addresses and flushed the remaining vestiges of old ghosts that simply no longer exist. See? I told you that the rain was cleansing.

“Lift your heads, throw down your hands and weep no more. The eye of creation looks upon you. Look back. You are crystal reflecting fire. In your own becoming there is light – enough to lead you home.”

8:30 a.m.

I’m sitting here watching the rain, and letting the Goddess Caffeina do her thing. And counting my blessings. I have such good friends. Naufragio, the best friend anyone could ever find. I would do anything for that girl.

In the past, I’ve shared the deepest parts of myself to people who were incapable of even the smallest amount of courtesy. But another valuable lesson learned. I will now only share with those that are worthy of my attentions. Which, thankfully, narrows the list considerably.

No, the rain doesn’t wash away the pain; it cleans the bullshit from my doorstep.

13 September 2008 e.v.

I’ve been checking the Surf Cam and there is lots of tropical activity and I think that we’ll be getting some nice waves next week. I’m looking forward to some September sessions. See you at The Wall!

“Just tell the teacher we’re surfing…” ♫ ♫

See the surfer? The Wall. Hampton, NH

11 September 2008 e.v.

Noon.

“See that fella over there? He’s 20 years old. In 10 years, he’s got a chance to be a star. Now that fella over there, he’s 20 years old, too. In 10 years he’s got a chance to be 30.”

9 September 2008 e.v.

If you ask me where I’ve been the past few days, I wouldn’t even know where to start. If you ask me where I’m going, I’d say far away. Ask me what I’m feeling and I’ll say everything – and nothing.

The rest is open to interpretation.

Why talk of a friendly hand! My great advantage is that I can laugh at old lying loves and put to shame those deceitful couples – I saw the hell of women back there – and I shall be free to possess truth in one soul and one body.

4 September 2008 e.v.

I almost feel bad making this post. I’ve got a TON of unread work related emails (over 20), I have a bunch from close friends and special people that I haven’t been able to get to yet. Mornings tend to be hectic, I wake up, make coffee, read some mail, and off to work.

But I also know I haven’t been blogging as often as I should. And I miss it. It’s hard to find enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do.

But my favourite time of the year is here, and I’ve been getting back to basics, Magickally speaking. I’ve been looking into Liber Resh as if I were a detective. I want to know everything. I want to know the meaning of every word in Resh, in the LBRP, in all of my rituals. I want to re-write The Bornless Ritual to suit my needs, I want to know the symbolism as well as if I had written them. I want to be able to recite the Enochian calls completely from memory. I want to be the absolute best I can be. And it’s frustrating because all of this requires more time than I have at the moment. If I was smart, I’d be using the time compression servitor more often.

What else… I’ll be doing some Goetic workings soon. I want to work more closely with Belial – I want, I want, I WANT. I sound like a petulant child. Haven’t you ever wanted to do so many things that you get so overwhelmed that almost nothing gets accomplished? I think I’m there. I also think I’m out of time. Again.

3 September 2008 e.v.

Dear Mailbag:

Hello Boleskine 93,

“I’ve read with great excretement your recent postings on Magick and recipes. I especially alleviate when you talk about The Holy Qabbalah. He seems like a very cool guy; does he have a Myspace page?

Also, the stuff you wrote about Servitors was interesting, although I didn’t really understand all of it. But I did once have a Servitor, but I had to let her go because she refused to clean my bathroom.

There’s a lot I’d like to talk with you about, if only I could fornicate my words (English is not my language barrier).

…Well that’s allfornow, and I hope we can talk again. Peace and love.”
(name withheld by embarrassment)

1 September 2008 e.v.

I plan to crawl outside these walls,
Close my eyes and see.
And fall into the heart and arms,
Of those who wait for me.
I cannot move a mountain now;
I can no longer run.
I cannot be who I was then
In a way, I never was.
They will fly me, like an angel,
To a place where I can rest.
When this begins, I’ll let you know,
September when it comes…

29 August 2008 e.v.

Orobas Rock

I want to see the ocean today. I want to run nakey through the waves. Well, I want to see the ocean today… And I want to get some rocks. The beach where I do the most surfing isn’t a nice sandy beach. It’s actually mostly rocks. Lots of rocks. Big rocks, medium rocks and baby rocks. And they are ALL perfectly smooth and round. A Magician’s dream. I’ve made runes from the small ones and the larger ones I’ve lately been making what I call Demon Rocks. Essentially, I draw a Goetic Demon’s sigil one one side, and the reverse side I add his name, rank, degrees of Zodiac, his ruling planet, whether he’s a night or day spirit and also his metal. It’s just for fun mainly, not for evocation.

So I’m probably heading to the beach to collect rocks, like I did when I was a child. Come to think of it, I’m still a child. And there’s NOTHING wrong with being nakey. It’s beautiful; and it’s how we first arrived on this planet.

Update: 6:00 pm. We just returned from the beach. Surf was incredibly UP, with too many surfers, many of whom are just dangerous with their beginner boards (GRIPE). I brought back with me a gallon of ocean water, for ritual work, tons of sand for the incense burner, and rocks. Have a look at the area that I was talking about. Now picture it looking like this for 20 feet behind and the whole length of the beach.

“Wow, those were some bitchin’ rad waves. Dude.”

25 August 2008 e.v.

I haven’t added to my Magickal Journal in a few days because I’ve been busy creating a pair of servitors. I have finally unleashed them. That and finally ridding myself of a few old ghosts. Just like the crud that collects on the bottom of my boots, they had to be scraped off.

We’re adding a few more words of power/protection to our Goetic Circle; I think it will add to the feeling of protection that it gives us.

23 August 2008 e.v.

Forgive the indulgence. I’m sort of struggling with a few things, and these words came to mind, and they express exactly how I feel. Besides, it IS my blog, innit?

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

22 August 2008 e.v.

If you recall my post about Spirit Pots, you’ll remember that I was going to choose a Goetic Entity and make a little playhouse for him in the pot that I purchased. Which I did do. I was so happy with the experiment that I went shopping today and bought fourmore of those beautiful pots (on sale!). I am creating servitors, and I am crafting sigils using the Rose Cross.  I think that once the servitor is created and set free, I might keep the charged sigil in one of the pots as a link to the servitor. And the sigil can be used for evocation purposes as well. Most people I know who create servitors usually link it to some object, such as a crystal, statue, etc. I thought I might try a slightly different route and use a more traditional evocation approach. So we’ll see how this works out. And, in the spirit of the Sphinx and Silence, specifics will not be revealed just yet.

21 August 2008 e.v.

What a fantastic day! I don’t know exactly what’s causing this (actually I do) but I have been totally inundated with a flow of energy for over three days now. The temple has been humming as well. I wake up and feel like I could, dare I say it, rule the world. Wow. If this keeps up there will be no stopping me.

I’ve begun work on my new Enochian Tablet of Union. I’ve cut out the wooden base, and will begin sanding it today. The final result should look something like this:

Oh, I don’t really want to rule the world. Just myself.

20 August 2008 e.v.

I try to avoid posts that are non-Magickal, for the most part. If someone is visiting my blog, I hardly think they care about mundane affairs and broken hearts. So terribly boring! Sometimes, though, there isn’t a major, “Oh my GOD look at that!”, Magickal Operation in the works. Sometimes the day is spent doing ordinary things, or, imagine, just resting. Today was such a day. About the only exciting thing I did was prepare myself to memorize the Enochian Calls by tape recording them, so I can hear them over and over and study them.

I’m also creating a new set of Enochian Tablets in 3D. This should take me a good 50 years or so. Just in time for my 200th birthday! Oh, I recently evoked Enochian Spirit EHNB, which is no great feat; he comes rather quickly after the two Calls are recited. I got some interesting results though. Probably more on this at a later time.

19 August 2008 e.v.

Have you ever had the urge to just disappear? I don’t mean temporarily, like a nice holiday. I mean really vanish. Like Rimbaud did, like Jim Morrison possibly did. I think the concept of vanishing from the face of the Earth is a very romantic one. I’ve always felt that way. I don’t have a lot to keep me in town any longer.

I think, at the very least, a Magickal Retirement is in order. Get away for a while and do some sorting. But it’s not enough. No, not nearly enough.

16 August 2008 e.v.

The Triangle of Art and Goetic Circle have been completed! I cannot believe that, at long last, they both are really done. Thank you to Naufragio for her work and dedication to the Work. A more dedicated Magician you’ll not likely see. Go to my Magickal Journal and scroll down to my Triangle of Art post to see the new pics. The reason that there are no pictures of our completed Goetic Circle is because the circle contains elements of our own design; and we would like to keep it private.

15 August 2008 e.v.

I haven’t forgotten my blog. I’ve just been extremely busy the past few days. The Magick Circle & Triangle of Art are completely finished, I’ve worked with a servitor (group working) and also have been busy with non-Magickal things.

13 August 2008 e.v

I’m going to Salem today, to shop, gawk at all the silly tourists who gawk at all the Pagans and also to meet an old OTO friend.

I also think I have expended WAY too much energy on the wrong people. Supposed friends and acquaintances who can barely (if ever) return an email or phone call, despite the fact that I’ve always been supportive to them.

Also, people I have had intimate relationships with, who dangle the carrot of  “I’ve been thinking about you, call me”, and then play games. Sorry, but I’ll pass; it’s not my thing.

The poet Rod McKuen once mentioned that he lost his address book, and would now measure his popularity by those who call HIM. And so it shall be with me.

12 August 2008 e.v.

I have to rant today. I MUST! This morning I read a post on one of the Magickal forums. This forum, like ALL forums, was just brimming over with pompous, know-it-all, head up their ass, so-called experts. You know the type: he knows ALL, he’s always right and that’s that!

This person declared that MY particular Goetic Magick Circle and Triangle weren’t “safe” enough because I failed to write the words in HEBREW. Other than throwing a hot cup of coffee in his face, I want to ask him if he feels that Goetic Demons only read & understand Hebrew.

Now, I have been working with the Goetia since 1976, probably long before this smug fool was born. But that’s typical, isn’t it? You see it EVERYWHERE in our Magickal world. You see Wiccans who claim that their “old religion” invented the LBRP, you see Ceremonial Magicians who feel that if they don’t speak the Goetic conjurations using words like “Thou” and Mayest”, then their Magick will not work.

I say enough! The Magick is in YOUR beliefs, it’s in YOUR head. ANY “Barbarous Words of Power” will work if you believe they will. ANY words around your circle will work if you feel they will. Instead of throwing that cup of coffee at them, maybe I should offer them a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up.

11 August 2008 e.v.

I was reading last night about Jack Parsons and The Babalon Working of 2 March 1946. This series of workings was originally designed to manifest the incarnation of Babalon. It was patterned after the Amalantrah Working. Basically, the idea was that Parsons would take the spirit of Babalon, the “Whore of Babalon” and impregnate it into a human being. Thusly: a child would be created in the spiritual world, and then they would call down the spiritual baby and direct it into a human womb. When the child was born it would incarnate the forces of Babalon.

What I found interesting (or amusing) was that L. Ron Hubbard (of Scientology fame) acted as a scribe during the ceremony. Who knew?

The Operation they performed was largely Enochian in nature and also utilised Sex Magick. Later Parsons wrote Liber 49 or The Book Of Babalon, which was claimed to be the fourth chapter of The Book of the Law.

The reason this interested me so is that I too have been contemplating a similar Operation.  I am also going to concentrate on some Enochian scrying and also work with the Spirits of the Enochian Tablets. I have in the past and want to continue the work I started. I’m sure my results will appear in my Journal.