Liber Ouch – An Ongoing Magickal Diary

If you noticed my previous post no doubt you’ll see that I am battling with an injury. I thought it might prove worthwhile, from a Magickal standpoint, to document the effect it has on my ritual work and to document the healing process in general. I don’t often get badly injured so this injury presents me with a learning experience as to the effects that pain and discomfort have on my Magick. This post will grow and be added to as the days pass.

21 November 2008 e.v.  11.30 p.m. Hail unto Kheph-Ra. Midnight adoration.

22 November 2008 e.v. 7.30 a.m. Hail unto Ra. Morning adoration. Slept badly last night, the weight of the blanket upon my foot causing considerable pain, yet if I slept with my foot outside of the blanket the chills I suffered seemed to get much worse. I had trouble thinking clearly as the night progressed, my body had a bad case of chills, and I was very lethargic.

I thought the whole series of events yesterday was very odd. We popped in on Eric Fraize (a well known Satanist in Salem), at his home, unannounced. He was courteous and welcoming. But the day was strange. In a good way. We had a nice day, but the whole ghastly affair up on Gallows Hill, and with the normally loving dogs running from me like I was Satan himself (ever see The Omen?) seemed too much. And, of course, I blame Naufragio. It was for her wand, after all, that I snapped a living branch off a tree. Probably in the exact spot of the old hanging tree.

Attempted my LBRP this morning. Found I could not walk to and greet the four corners, yet I could do a decent job by simply pivoting in one place. Better than nothing, though the Sign of the Enterer presents a problem.

9.45 a.m. Thinking that some Absinthe couldn’t hurt, and might actually help the pain, and possibly the creative process. I have a bottle of the real stuff, not the fake American crap.  I wonder if it is bad form to drink the stuff before noon…

I’m also noticing that because I’m forced to sit still and not move around the house too much that my discipline is improving. I’m writing far more today, if only because the pain is forcing me to sit.

Noon: Hail unto Thee who art Ahathoor. Noon adoration. I’m feeling absolutely wretched. Pain doesn’t seem to do anything so far other than distract. Made lunch and tried to rest, but my body is rejecting sleep. I want to work on banishing but my leg is too sore. Instead I will work on my Astral Temple, one I’ve constructed over time.

This record, written with pain, may be just the thing I need to kick start my writing. Perhaps self-inflicted pain, at those times when I am lazy, will help? Anyone with an opinion?

6.00 p.m. Hail unto Thee who art Tum in Thy setting. Sunset Adoration. No good news to report. Ankle still swollen, still hurts, and I’m still cranky (probably) because of it. Magickally nothing much to report. I don’t think pain is very inspiring. I thought I’d find some unforeseen gem in all this; actually it just plain hurts. But it did force me to write. Maybe that is the gem after all.

7.30 p.m. Miserable bastard that I am, I’m going to bed. With ice on my ankle, and the foot elevated, and compression, and lots of rest. See? I listen! Thank you to my friends who care. I do love you.

Midnight Adoration will have to wait; if I awake during the night I’ll do it then. If not, the Sacred Beetle will understand.

23 November 2008 e.v. 7:45 a.m. Morning Liber Resh completed. Yesterday the ankle changed. The swelling is now on the right side mostly, as opposed to on the left as it was originally, and now it’s all over the top, and the skin is a whitish/grayish colour, and very cold. Speaking of cold, I was freeezing again last night; I had a very bad case of the chills.

10.30 a.m. This will probably be the last entry in this Pain Journal. I wanted to document the effects of pain, which I partly did. But now all this talk of pain is becoming painful. And boring.

I limp, so I know I survived the fall.